How to explain to a child what menstruation is? The first explanations for girls about menstruation How to tell a girl about menstruation

The girl grows, matures and turns into a girl. The main sign of growing up in any girl is the appearance of menstrual bleeding, which gives rise to the first menstrual cycle. It is important to prepare the girl for the changes so that she does not get psychologically traumatized. It is for this reason that a conversation with her daughter is important, during which she should learn about the characteristics of the body. How to tell a girl about her period? At what age do you do it? How to choose the right time to talk?

Puberty age for girls

Menstruation in girls begins at the age of 12-13 years, in some cases it may begin earlier than this age, which indicates early puberty.

If the bleeding began before the age of 10, or the girl is already 16 years old, and there is no menstruation, this is a reason to contact a gynecologist. It is important to determine the cause of such deviations from the form in order to prevent serious problems with sexual health in the future.

The right way to talk

As the child grows older, mothers often begin to think about how to tell the girl about menstruation.

The girl will calmly accept the beginning of the period, she will be ready for this if she is properly prepared. Otherwise, she may be frightened when she sees blood on her underwear. The main thing is to allow the daughter to be left alone with her feelings and a bunch of unanswered questions.

Of course, today you can get any information from various sources, but no one better than a mother can tell her daughter about menstruation.

Many mothers try in every possible way to delay the conversation on this topic, believing that it is too early, their daughter is just a child. But, time flies very quickly, so you need not miss the right moment. Already at the age of 9, you need to try to explain to your growing child what awaits her in the future. A girl should not think that the beginning of her period is a terrible disease when she bleeds or something like that.

Features of talking about menstruation

In fact, it is difficult to explain to a girl what awaits her when she grows up. And this difficult task falls on the shoulders of a mother or other adult woman who has a trusting relationship with a child (elder sister, grandmother, aunt).

Of course, dad can also tell the girl about menstruation, but he is unlikely to be able to give exhaustive answers to a million questions that arise. The thing is that only a woman knows all the subtleties of the process, in addition, an impressive amount of embarrassment is added.

In order for the conversation to be successful, it is very important to think through all its moments, draw up a rough plan so as not to miss anything important.

When choosing a place for a conversation, it is important that it is comfortable so that the child can relax. The child needs to explain the following main points: at what age will menstruation approximately begin, this phenomenon will be repeated every month, what features the process has, what may be a little painful, and also what phases of the menstrual cycle are and what features are characterized.

The right tone of communication is equally important for a successful outcome of the conversation. It should not be teaching that will only scare the child away. All explanations should be in a confidential and friendly manner, only in this case the girl will listen carefully, not be afraid and not shy.

The conversation should be divided into several stages. So, at the age of 9, it is not at all necessary for a girl to state at once everything that is known about menstruation, and how hard it will be for her to experience it every month. First you need to prepare the girl, explaining that very soon her body will change, and if spotting appears, this will be a sign of the beginning of changes, so you should not be scared. You also need to tell the girl that today there are special hygiene products on sale designed to provide comfort on critical days. A girl at this age can react to the information received in different ways: either there will be a lot of questions that you need to be prepared for, or she simply nods, ending the conversation on this.

Already this first conversation will give the girl an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe monthly spotting. The second time it will be possible to tell in more detail about all the intricacies of menstruation, when it has already begun (11-13 years).

What to talk about?

How to tell your daughter about menstruation? You need to start with the fact that the female body is not the same as the male, and when it grows up, serious changes occur: a girl turns into a girl, and then into a woman. When a girl becomes a girl, she starts menstruating.

It is important to explain to the daughter that every woman has such a phenomenon as menstruation and says that she is healthy and ready for the birth of a child.

It is quite enough for the girl to know that menstrual bleeding should be scarlet in color without clots, the amount is moderate, and they should last 3-7 days. You also need to tell what the menstrual cycle is, and normally its duration is 21-34 days (in most cases it is 28 days).

It should also be clarified that the first menstruation (menarche) for each girl begins at a different time, which depends on the development of the reproductive system. The girl must be sure that the appearance of blood does not pose a danger, even if pain appears. The cause of the pain is the exfoliation of the endometrium of the uterus, which is a natural process, so you should not be afraid.

Even if the girl saw how bad her mother was during her period, it is not worth scaring her that it must not be so. It is impossible to predict how these days will pass with my daughter, because each female body is individual.

You need to tell your daughter about menstruation so that she is psychologically ready for them, so that she can understand why her mood changes dramatically, general malaise, tearfulness, irritability, and nervousness appear. All changes in the female body occur under the influence of hormones, and the symptoms before menstruation are called premenstrual syndrome.

Pay special attention!

When planning a conversation with your daughter about menstruation, you need to pay attention to the following main points:

• A stable menstrual cycle with regular periods indicates gender health. But, under the influence of various factors (overwork, climate change, severe stress, heavy loads, etc.), it can be disturbed. In the first few years (1-2 years), the cycle may be irregular. The girl must understand that in order to normalize the menstrual cycle, excessive loads and stressful situations should be avoided, especially with the approach of critical days.
• Rational nutrition is one of the important factors for a stable menstrual cycle, and strict diets that teenage girls exhaust themselves with, trying to achieve model parameters, lead to cycle disorders. It is important to understand that the wrong diet, in which there are no fats and carbohydrates, can cause the ovaries to stop working and, as a result, serious problems with conception in the future. Therefore, it is so important not only to monitor the daughter’s diet, but also to teach her how to properly approach the issue of proper nutrition.
• Talking about menstruation with your daughter is simply necessary, because this is not only a sign of puberty. With the onset of menstrual bleeding, the body is ready for pregnancy. Therefore, in no case should you treat this topic negligently. The girl should know that unprotected sexual contact can lead to pregnancy, possible abortion and negative consequences.
• Personal hygiene products are also an important point of the conversation. The girl must understand that on critical days the body is especially vulnerable to the penetration of various infections, so hygiene is simply necessary. It is for this reason that you need to choose the right hygiene products, for which it is better to consult a gynecologist. On critical days, it is better not to take a bath and not swim in open water and pools, but you need to take a shower every day.

How to tell your daughter about menstruation, what time and place to choose - each mother decides for herself. A confidential conversation with your daughter will help to avoid many problems in the future. And if the mother or other older female relative is not shy and delays the conversation, the appearance of spotting will not frighten the girl. And if questions arise, she will be able to consult without holding feelings inside.

Today we will talk about how to tell the girl about menstruation as delicately as possible. Not so long ago, girls' periods, as a rule, came at the age of fourteen, fifteen. In the twenty-first century, the sexual development of children has accelerated, especially for girls living in the southern regions. That is why parents should clearly understand that it is not worth delaying the conversation on this topic.

When, at what age to tell the girl about menstruation?

As practice shows, even the most caring parents often make mistakes when it comes to this delicate topic. Some are patiently waiting for their daughter to start menstruating. Others remember when their first menstruation began and wait for this period. Both of them can cause serious psychological trauma to their daughters. Seeing blood on her panties, an ignorant girl can be very frightened and think that trouble has happened to her. Those mothers who are waiting for their daughter to turn fourteen also make a mistake. After all, they had menstruation at that age. It is not right! Gynecologists unanimously repeat that there is no “universal” age for such a conversation.

At what age do girls start menstruating?

• Puberty in modern children occurs at least a year and a half earlier than in the old days.
• Girls can start menstruating between the ages of 10 and 14. But this rule is subject to change.
• If menstruation occurs before the age of 10, the girl must be shown to a gynecologist.
• Also, a visit to the doctor is necessary if the girl is 16 years old, and menstruation has not “come”.
• According to experts, today the physiological age for the onset of menstruation is considered to be 10-11 years. Twenty years ago, the age of 12-13 was considered the norm.

In medicine, the first menstruation is called "menarche" . The first menarche, as a rule, has a special smell. They are not very plentiful. It is at this age that many teenage girls begin to gain weight intensively. Therefore, doctors during this period do not recommend that girls especially lean on buns. We should not forget about sports. Experts advise all adolescents (both boys and girls) to take showers twice a day during the period of endocrine maturation. At this age, girls are in great need of wise mother's advice.

Menarche can come on suddenly without any prior symptoms. However, more often girls complain of discomfort in the abdomen. But be that as it may, external changes in the body during this period are sure to occur and attentive parents will certainly notice them.

External signs that indicate the approaching menstruation:

• Acceleration of body growth and the acquisition of rounded shapes . About one year before menarche, a girl's height can increase by 10-12 centimeters. And it grows disproportionately. Hands and feet are especially stretched. The head becomes disproportionate to the child's body.
• The appearance of hairs on the pubic tubercle - "pubis" and armpits .
• Noticeable enlargement of the mammary glands . Halos change. Its color darkens.
• Increased sweating .
• Enlargement of the external genitalia .
• One year before menarche whites appear - vaginal discharge. Sometimes they can appear five to six months before menarche. Initially, whites stand out poorly. The closer the onset of menstruation, the thicker they become, and their number increases.
• Most girls have premenstrual symptoms . Such as: headache, mood swings, nervousness, discomfort in the abdomen, severe weakness, nausea
• In girls, not only the figure and behavior change, but also the appearance itself. . Pimples may appear on the face. There are also problems with hair, dandruff may appear. Hair has to be washed more often, as it quickly becomes greasy and loses its natural shine.

Young women of the fair sex should not worry too much about all these changes. These are just temporary annoyances. As soon as the period of endocrine maturation is over, the menstrual cycle will be established - the girl will "bloom" and all problems with appearance will be left behind.

How to tell your daughter about menstruation: 9 tips

Some parents believe that it is not necessary to talk to girls about menstruation. After all, their parents did not talk to them about this topic. And nothing, as they say, figured it out. Older friends helped. For some reason, other parents are sure that with the advent of modern information technologies, their child can find the answer to any question on their own. You can't argue with this argument. However, child psychologists are sure that it is mothers who should enlighten their daughters and answer all questions related to this rather delicate topic. Thus, they will help their children avoid the appearance of all kinds of complexes and realize that menstruation is a natural physiological process. The daughter must understand that her body begins to prepare for future motherhood. A conversation on this topic should be as accessible and informative as possible, so mothers will have to prepare properly.

1. Child psychologists believe that it is necessary to start talking about menstruation from the age of 10. Information should be presented in a simple and accessible form, without going too much into anatomical details. For example, a mother may tell her ten-year-old daughter that she will soon become a girl, she will have breasts, pubic hair will grow, and she will have her period once a month. This preliminary information will allow the child not to be scared when he sees blood on his panties.
2. More specifically on this topic, girls need to talk at the age of 12-13. Answer the questions should be in accordance with the age of the child - simply, but as informative as possible.
3. It is best to use your own experience when talking with your daughter on this intimate topic. Tell us how you reacted to the appearance of menstruation, what you experienced, what symptoms bothered you the most.
4. Daughters must be told that with the advent of menstruation, she becomes an adult woman who can become pregnant.
5. Many girls are afraid that the process of menstruation will be very painful. Reassure the child, explain that discomfort is not excluded, but there will be no severe pain. It is worth talking about PMS (premenstrual syndrome). Knowledge of possible emotional outbursts will help the girl control her behavior during this period.
6. Some parents prefer to purchase relevant literature or a science film and thus organize the learning process. Of course, a book or video can be a starting point for informing. However, it is imperative to read a book or watch a movie with your daughter, explaining incomprehensible points, supplementing information and answering her questions.
7. Most experts believe that you need to start a conversation with your daughter with an analysis of the anatomical features of the woman's body. Of course, the conversation must be conducted in a language understandable to the child. In this case, the booklet will not hurt.
8. It must be said that the duration of menstruation is, as a rule, from three to five days. Mom should explain to her daughter that the menstrual cycle should be monitored, and for this it is best to have a special calendar.
9. Hygiene issues must be included in the conversation. Girls should be aware that most gynecologists recommend using pads before giving birth, not tampons. It is better to make a trip to the pharmacy with your daughter to help her in choosing the necessary pads.

What questions do girls worry about before the first menstruation?

• Any girl is primarily concerned about the question - how much it will hurt when menstruation occurs. The answer to this question should be as reliable as possible. Pulling, discomfort during the onset of menstruation is experienced by almost all women. But this is the norm. If the pain is strong, incessant, you will have to visit a gynecologist to make sure there is no pathology.
• What does a woman experience before menstruation? Answering this question, you can repeat once again about PMS and explain that a girl must learn to control emotional outbursts and unreasonable irritability.
• Very often, girls are worried about the question - why did they have white discharge on their panties? Have they contracted a “bad” disease? In this case, the mother should reassure the child and explain that these discharges are natural. This is nature's way of keeping the vagina clean.
• One of the most common questions that little "women" ask is what if menstruation starts at school? In this case, you should always have several pads in your portfolio. If there are none, you can ask for a gasket from girls from high school, contact the school medical center, where there is always a bandage and cotton wool. On this day, it is best to take time off from the teacher and go home.

Menstruation is a new stage in the life of girls, exciting and responsible. And for this stage, a little woman must be prepared. Of course, in many modern schools, medical professionals conduct a special series of lectures on this topic. However, not every girl is able to ask a question that concerns her to an “outsider” woman. Therefore, the participation of the mother in the process of growing up her daughter is mandatory. Such conversations on “delicate” topics between a daughter and mother are not only informative, but also bring them very close. Make relationships more emotional and trusting.

Our children are growing by leaps and bounds, and soon the moment comes when their body undergoes drastic changes, this is especially true for girls. Boys and girls develop in the same way in accordance with their age up to a certain point - 7-8 years, then in the female body, activated hormones come into their own, helping the future woman acquire her distinctive sexual characteristics.

Before the onset of menstruation, the child is still far away, but the first signs of puberty are already appearing - rapid growth in length, hair growth appears in the armpits and perineum, and the chest does not lag behind the overall development. All these unambiguous natural changes occur within 2-3 years, and the onset of menstruation will mark the theoretical possibility of a girl to conceive. But how to tell a girl about menstruation?

Time of puberty

Literally 15-20 years ago, girls began menstruating at the age of 14-15 years. Now the sexual development of children has somewhat accelerated - acceleration, so menstruation begins at the age of 12 - 13 years. Such data are typical both for the regions of Russia and for the countries of Europe. However, pediatricians note some characteristic feature for the southern regions - even earlier puberty. The reasons for going to the doctor appear at the onset of menstruation before the age of 10 and after 16 years.

How to approach an important conversation?

In the life of every girl there comes a stage - the onset of menstruation or menarche. Such a turn of events can be perceived calmly and rationally if the girl was previously prepared for some features of her condition, and if the mother or older sister did not take care of the relevant knowledge in advance, the child may be frightened.

Of course, you can sit as long as you like and remember the times of the Soviet Union, when it was not customary to discuss the topics of sex, childbirth and personal hygiene issues even with your own mother. But in the process of following such strict rules, young girls were left alone with their experiences and a huge number of unclear questions.

The modern world is more liberated, rich in an exorbitant amount of a wide variety of information in the library and the Internet, which will give answers to all the questions that have arisen, but who better than a mother can prepare a girl for this? Some mothers put off such an important conversation for “later”, because when they look at their 9-year-old girl, it seems “what is the period? she is still a child, and how to start such an unusual conversation?

There are many strange stories known, and they probably met in your life when a growing up girl thought that she was bleeding and seriously ill with something, due to insufficient information. So, in order to avoid such incidents, you need to figure out how to explain to the future girl what awaits her in the near future.

Estimated conversation plan

As you know, to conduct a successful conversation, you need a carefully thought-out plan of the conversation. A mentally created plan in advance helps not to miss a single detail.

Details to pay attention to before talking:

• Tone of communication. Forget about the teacher's tone, it will only scare away and violate the confidence of the conversation. In order to make everything accessible and quickly convey to the child, choose the option of a confidential and friendly conversation, then the girl will be able to calmly relate to such a new conversation and, without hesitation, listen to her mother or other more adult mentor;
• Place of conversation. Choose a comfortable seat that will help you and your child just relax.

Think over the points that need to be explained to the child - the approximate time of the onset of menstruation, the peculiarity of the manifestation of this process, the possible appearance of pain, what are the phases of menstruation and what they mean.

The conversation should be carried out in several stages:

• at the age of 9 years - for the first time it is not necessary to lay out a complete arsenal of knowledge about the severity of the female share of all women in the world. The first explanations about menstruation may include very little knowledge, something like, "soon the body will change, there will be some discharge, do not be afraid of this, there are special personal hygiene products." The girl may show interest and wish to know better what it is, so the questions should not take the narrator by surprise, or maybe with a nod, close the topic;
• after the first conversation, the girl will already have an idea about future discharges, so another conversation should be held already during the first menstruation or menarche, that is, at 11-12 years old.

Such a period of time - 3 years - is determined by the different development of children, that is, one girl at 9 years old may take this conversation more seriously and wish to learn much more initial information, while the other child simply does not understand what they are trying to convey to her.

Who should take on this responsibility?

It is rather problematic to explain to a child what awaits her in the process of growing up of the body, so this task should be performed by the mother.

In the event that the girl does not have a mother, another more adult woman assumes responsibility - her own aunt, older sister, grandmother, that is, any person whom the child trusts and can speak on such frank topics.

There are times when dads tried to take on an unbearable burden, but each time it turned into a huge number of questions from the girl, embarrassment of the father. Men cannot fully cover all the intricacies of the process due to a simple lack of knowledge, as well as a fair amount of embarrassment. Usually in schools, starting from the transition to the middle classes, an educational conversation is held with all girls, but, as a rule, this is not enough.

Approximate example of a conversation with a child

An innocent child is sitting in front of you, unaware of what exactly you want to tell her. Start with the fact that simultaneously with the stages of growing up, the female body begins to acquire an appearance that is different from the male. First a girl becomes a girl, then a woman. The process that turns a girl into a girl is called menstruation.

Be sure to tell us what every female representative has, demonstrating her ability to have children. Illuminate the process of the entire menstrual cycle - the normal duration is 28 - 33 days, the normal duration of bloody discharge is 3 - 7 days, the nature of the discharge is the absence of clots, a moderate amount, scarlet color.

Mention that the time of the onset of the first menstruation for each girl is different, this does not mean any pathology, rather it depends only on the speed of development of the reproductive system. Reassure the girl that bleeding is not bad, does not mean illness or injury, as previously perceived. The release of blood is not accompanied by pain, but pain may be present in the process of exfoliation of the endometrium, which is also a normal process.

Do not frighten the child in advance, even if earlier your girl observed obvious pains on the onset of the first day of menstruation, that the pains will be severe. Each female body reacts differently, and nothing can be predicted.

Prepare the girl psychologically - during the period of approaching menstruation, she may notice sudden changes in mood, increased irritability, general malaise, nervousness and tearfulness. All these manifestations are related to premenstrual syndrome, and depend on the hormonal background of the girl.

Special Moments

Some aspects to pay special attention to:

• The menstrual cycle can go astray, especially after severe stress, overwork, a sudden change in climate, etc., and initially the cycle generally has an unstable character for several years. All this is easy to understand and come to the conclusion that physical activity should be moderate, the girl will eventually learn to recognize the first signs of approaching menstruation in order to competently limit excessive mobility, the same applies to stressful situations;
• After watching a fair amount of fashion magazines and television programs, girls dream of thinness, bringing their body to exhaustion. An improperly selected diet with the complete exclusion of fats and carbohydrates leads to the cessation of the functioning of the ovaries and the failure of the menstrual cycle. Parents should monitor the proper nutrition of a child up to a certain age, but it is necessary to bring up the correct attitude of the girl to this issue in advance;
• And, most importantly, even if it seems blasphemous to parents to start such a conversation with their little girl, explain to the child that the onset of menstruation is not just a sign of growing up, but an opportunity to become pregnant. What exactly your child needs to know from this topic, each parent will decide for himself, but remember - negligent attitude or embarrassment is often the cause of early pregnancy, and possible miscarriage with subsequent consequences;


• Personal hygiene products. Explain that personal hygiene products should be changed each time with new ones, and frequent visits to the ladies' room to assess the condition should be made. Do not forget about the shower - too hot water is prohibited, but frequent showering is necessary to prevent infection with any infections. Do not forget to tell that over time the girl will be able to use other methods of hygiene, for example, tampons, suitable for older and more experienced girls.

All of us faced women's problems for the first time and were looking for a life partner for the first time. We have already gone through the periods of growing up that are just ahead of our daughters. How, where and when to start a conversation with a girl about menstruation and sexual life - about this in an interview with an obstetrician-gynecologist, head of the Family Health Academy Diana Mardas.

Moms usually make two typical mistakes. Some remain silent until the daughter begins her period and she herself asks what is happening. This situation can cause psychological trauma to the girl. The reputation of the mother will suffer, and most importantly, the girl can get psychologically traumatized. For all of us, blood is injury and damage. The girl at this moment, if she is not aware, will not understand what is happening to her, and will be frightened.

Other mothers remember at what age they themselves began to have critical days, for example, at 14 years old. Then they are waiting for their daughter's 14th birthday. This is also wrong. Feel free to subtract 1.5 years from your age. Now both menstruation and puberty occur earlier. Of course, heredity cannot be put anywhere, and if a mother’s period appeared at the age of 14-15, then her daughter will have it later than most of her peers. If the mother is early, then the girl is even earlier.

Moms should prepare for such a conversation and, most importantly, do not ignore it, do not miss it.

There are harbingers that the girl will soon begin menstruation, or rather, menarche (this is what the first menstruation is called)

About a year before menstruation, the girl begins to grow sharply and disproportionately (up to 12 cm). The feet, arms, hands are stretched, the skull becomes disproportionate to the body;
- The mammary glands are rounded and the halo changes;
- Hair becomes more oily at the roots;
- Hair appears in the pubic area and in the armpits;
- The skin becomes more oily, pimples, pimples, blackheads may appear;
- Behavioral changes appear - the girl can become sharper in communication.

These factors indicate that it is time to start a conversation. Of course, the ideal option is if the daughter herself began to ask questions, but not all mothers are so lucky, many will have to initiate a conversation.

In no case should you start it abruptly, saying: “My dear, sit down, I will tell you about menstruation.” In this case, the teenager will immediately close. The conversation should start smoothly - between times in a conversation or when watching a movie. In no case do not change the tone, do not highlight intonation. Everything should be calm, as in a normal conversation.

It is necessary to explain to the daughter that menstruation is growing up, the transformation of a girl into a woman. It will be very correct if the mother tells about her own experience, what she experienced and so on. This will serve as an additional clue for the teenager. In addition, this will bring the daughter closer to her mother - they will have common female themes.

Today, teenagers are influenced by glossy magazines, fashion films, where all women look great and have gorgeous figures. Therefore, it is important to explain that the physiological changes that occur to her, everyone goes through; that slight fullness in the chest and hips is a sign that she is growing into a grown woman, and not that she has gained weight. By the way, because of thoughts about fullness, young girls often stop eating, go on a diet, and then their periods disappear or go astray. Therefore, you need to assure the child that after a while everything will return to normal. Otherwise, the girl will not understand what is happening to her, she will consider herself an ugly duckling - this also affects the atmosphere and relationships in the family.

Today 10-11 years old is the normal age for the onset of menstruation

Previously, the norm for the onset of menstruation was the age of 12-13 years. Now - 10-11.

Personally, I attribute this to a change in diet. It has been scientifically proven that many agricultural and livestock products today contain growth promoters and estrogen-like substances that the body mistakes for the hormone estrogen. This hormone is also responsible for puberty.

I'm not saying that these products should be abandoned, such supplements are now everywhere. It’s just that if a girl’s period started early, it’s worth reconsidering her diet a little - perhaps there are too many of these products. Again, this is my personal point of view.

Many mothers, after having the main conversation, let the topic of hygiene take its course. They believe that this is all elementary and the child himself will be able to go to the store and buy everything. The girl can't. Firstly, she is shy and afraid, and secondly, she has no experience. Mom should buy all hygiene products herself in sufficient quantities, give her daughter with her and show where they can be taken at home.

Moms often rely on the fact that their daughter goes to school all day, so they buy night pads or pads with a lot of drops. You can't do that. Overnight pads won't work because most of the absorbent gel is concentrated at the back of the pad. And during the day, the maximum degree of absorption in its central part is necessary. And pads with a large number of droplets will not teach the girl to hygiene, she will not even think that the pad needs to be changed more often.

Hygiene is very important, otherwise infection is likely. The girl's pad should be changed every time she goes to the toilet. Be sure to tell the child about the bath, what should be washed.

Many teenage girls have such a complex: they are afraid that menstruation will begin at school in the classroom and the whole class will find out about it. Mom can reinsure her daughter 2-3 days before the start of menstruation - buy daily pads that she will use and carry with her. In this case, the incident will not happen, the girl will feel calmer.

Also, the mother should tell her daughter about the menstrual calendar. It is better that mother and daughter bring him together. This will distract the girl herself from unnecessary worries, perhaps, will captivate and teach her to order. And it will be easier for mom to control the flow of menstruation.

Also, the child needs to be warned about the frequency of menstruation: despite the fact that it happens every month, it can shift slightly. Especially in the first months. If a girl waits for her in an equal number of days, and menstruation does not come, this can scare her very much.

It is necessary to accustom the girl to visits to the gynecologist

I advise you to see a gynecologist when the girl began the second cycle of menstruation - this will allow the doctor to compare the results with the first menstruation. Mom should instill in her daughter the habit of visiting a gynecologist and not be afraid of him. Today, I would say, there is even a problem: both young girls and adult women avoid visiting this specialist precisely because of fear.

Until now, there are mothers who are afraid to take their daughters to the gynecologist, explaining this by the fact that the girl is still a virgin. Let me explain: if a girl does not live a sexual life, no one examines her vaginally, only through the rectum. The hymen is not injured in any way. And here is a must-check.

Let's move on to puberty.

Well, if the mother communicates well with the gynecologist, in this case, you can agree that the doctor touched on the topic of puberty and sexual life. Most moms find it difficult to start a conversation about menstruation, let alone the topic of puberty ...

In adolescence, the words of parents can be perceived with hostility, and adolescents may fundamentally not listen to their information, and a gynecologist is a third party, an independent opinion. Yes, and then it will be easier for mom to continue this topic.

You can’t avoid this conversation, otherwise, from lack of information, the child will go to friends and the Internet: read blogs, “dig” in social networks, where there is a lot, to put it mildly, inaccurate information.

You should talk about sexual relations smoothly, metered, in the process of talking or watching a movie. You can give teenage encyclopedias to read so that the girl comes to something herself, and asks her mother for the rest.

Mom must prepare herself for this conversation, she must know what to say. And it is very important that all other family members know about the beginning of this conversation. Otherwise, if the information differs among family members, the girl may decide that someone is lying to her. The authority of the family and mother is lost. The girl will climb for answers to her questions on the Internet.

During this conversation, it is impossible to inspire the girl with fear of boys: "There will be frequent sexual intercourse - you will become pregnant, and the boys are all the same, all the guys leave." Unfortunately, this is what mothers often say to their daughters. And it is from here that problems arise in the future: a girl cannot have a relationship, cannot get married, she does not trust anyone, it is easier for her alone.

You need to gently tell your daughter that she will definitely have a loved one with whom she wants to build a serious relationship. He may not accept that his beloved was too active in sexual activity. What kind of reputation she will have, how she will look in his eyes ... Such words will impress the girl more and serve as a greater argument than stories about unwanted pregnancy.

Mom should be attentive and competent - only in this case can you win back authority from the Internet. I am very happy at receptions when I hear a girl say: “But my mother told me.”

If the daughter asked some kind of provocative question, there is no need to answer at random. You should say: "You asked a difficult question, I will think about it and answer you a little later." Consult, look and only then answer. Do not think that the child will forget about his question. The inattention of parents to the issues of children and adolescents greatly undermines the authority.

I would also recommend tracking the child's navigation on the web. There are many dangers on the Internet, ranging from pedophilia. It is necessary to talk with the girl that it is impossible to communicate with strange strangers, especially adults, that if this happened, then you should immediately tell your mother about it.

There is now a function on the Internet - a package of services "Parental Control". The basic package is free, and for an additional fee, you can even track messages on social networks.

For the first time, in order to calm down that the girl is not being dated by adult strangers, you can purchase this package. You can get a children's browser, but all this is only at the initial stages. Then children can still learn what they want and bypass parental control.

If a girl said she was going to get married - you need to support her

Now you can often see young couples. Then some little girls sincerely suffer because of breaking up with the first guy, even if they are only 8-9 years old. Parents should not treat this as nonsense. If, for example, your daughter says that she is getting married, tell her that you are happy, that you are waiting for an invitation to the wedding and that you will definitely come. It is important for a child to understand that his problems and interests are understood in the family.

Children show interest in the opposite sex. Do not be afraid of very early sexual intercourse, because they are physiologically impossible. Sexuality has stages of formation. The craving of an infant for its mother is also a certain stage in the formation of sexuality. At the age of 8-9, early dates and breakups are also a period of growing up.

Therefore, you can’t make fun of a child’s sadness and turn it into a joke, you need to support him and convince him that all the good things are yet to come.

The beginning of an intimate relationship - a conversation about contraception

If you find out that your daughter's sexual debut has taken place, you can't yell and grind - this won't change anything. You can say this: “I won’t say that I’m wildly happy, I thought it would happen later, but it happened, this is your decision, you are entering adulthood, now you yourself (not only me and the gynecologist) are responsible for your health". And here it is quite normal to talk to your daughter about contraception.

If you don’t know how to start a conversation with your child about intimate life, put a condom in a prominent place. She will see and ask - that's the conversation took place. Explain the importance of contraception to avoid not only early pregnancy but also disease and infection.

Now there is a protective vaccine, it is also intended for adolescents - a vaccine against the human papillomavirus (HPV), against some of its strains, which, among other things, cause cervical cancer. The vaccine should be given before the onset of sexual activity. Approximately 9-10 years old. This is great prevention.

Mothers often worry that with their conversation about intimate life and contraception, they conditionally give the “green light” to their daughter for promiscuity. This is an absolutely wrong point of view. On the contrary, what is unknown, secret, is always more attractive than what is openly discussed with you. You don't have to give your daughter a condom right away. Let her just know where you can find protective equipment at home. Because in which case the girl will not go to the pharmacy to buy a condom - she is shy and afraid.

By the way, early sexual relations in girls arise due to lack of attention, most often the father. This is already a proven fact. The girl is just looking for this attention from the opposite sex.

Mom should be clearly aware that sooner or later everything will happen to her daughter: both menstruation and sexual life. And the girl should be ready for this. Therefore, you need to approach the conversation with your daughter consciously, with the understanding that both the sexual and psychological health of the child depends on your words and delicacy. And, consequently, her future as a woman, wife and mother.

Since today communication between mothers and daughters on the topic of growing up is really a problem (and this is more a problem of society than of specific women, because we basically lack the continuity of competent sex education), we opened it at the Family Health Academy.

I hope they will help many women to bring their daughters into adulthood as competently as possible.

Menstruation is a habitual and regular physiological phenomenon for women. The first menstruation occurs in girls at an early age and signifies the onset of puberty. Typically, critical days begin in girls aged 11–15 years and are called menarche. But this does not mean that they will appear strictly at this age. Due to individual characteristics, earlier or later puberty is possible. Before the onset of menstruation, the girl's body begins to change, which is manifested primarily in appearance. To prepare the child for the imminent changes, every parent should know how to tell the girl about menstruation.

When to Start a Conversation

An attentive mother is obliged to mentally prepare the child for this day in advance. But not everyone knows how to tell your daughter about menstruation most correctly. What to talk about and how to do it as tactfully as possible. Critical days can begin in girls at a very early age, up to 8 years. Puberty can be either early or late. The sexual development of children depends on various physiological reasons, but regardless of age, the onset of menstruation is always accompanied by a change in the girl's appearance.

The changes that have arisen, as well as unstable hormonal levels, can adversely affect the well-being of her daughter, so every mother should prepare in advance for the menstrual cycle in order to be ready to answer all questions of interest.

The main signs of approaching menstruation:

• the figure changes, the chest begins to grow;
• hair begins to grow, in those places where they were not before;
• acne, blackheads or dandruff appear;
• sweating appears;
• due to the active work of the glands, the hair on the head begins to become dirty faster.

The onset of menstruation in adolescents is always accompanied by pain in the lower abdomen and poor health. Therefore, it is necessary to warn the child about possible ailments and purchase painkillers in advance.

Preparing your child for conversation

How to explain to a child what menstruation is, every mother should know. With the help of a conversation on such a delicate topic, you can prevent the appearance of complexes and protect against early pregnancy. That is why it is very important to clearly explain to the girl that menstruation is a natural physiological process that should not be shy, but at the same time be extremely careful. At this time, the body begins to rebuild, as preparation for future motherhood takes place. Moms should prepare for the conversation in advance.

Read also 🗓 All about menstruation in girls 12 years old

The conversation should be confidential and at the same time fully reveal all the nuances.

• Psychologists advise starting a conversation with a child at the age of 10 years. Information should be accessible and easy to understand. At this age, it is not necessary to talk in detail about the anatomy of the female body. Suffice it to say that the daughter will soon become a girl, because she will begin menstruating, pubic hair will appear and breasts will begin to grow.
• At the age of 12-13, girls can be presented with more specific information about the structure of the female body. It is better to start a conversation by studying the anatomy of the female body. All information must be clear and accessible. For convenience, you can use the medical book aid with pictures.
• During the conversation, it is better to focus on your own experience, to talk about your feelings and experiences.
• In order to interest the child, you can include a science film for children or an educational cartoon. Thus, it is easiest to organize the learning process. The main thing is to watch the video together to explain incomprehensible points or answer questions of interest.
• Be sure to mention that menstruation lasts from 3 to 5 days, as well as the importance of tracking the menstrual cycle.

Do not forget to tell the girl that with the advent of menstruation she becomes more mature and with the onset of sexual activity she can become pregnant.

Basic concepts

The first menstruation is the main sign of puberty in girls. This is a physiological process of renewal and cleansing of the female organs of the reproductive system to prepare the body for a possible pregnancy. Menstruation should be regular and occur monthly. The onset of puberty is accompanied by an intense production of female hormones. Hormones are produced and changed depending on the menstrual cycle. Therefore, it is very important to warn the child about changes in the body, as well as to talk about the main differences between girls and girls.

At the next stage of the conversation, one should talk about the anatomical features of the female body in an accessible language for the child. The girl should learn more about the regulations, as well as why they go every month. There is no need to intimidate the child too much with information about the painful sensations that accompany menstruation, but it is also impossible to remain silent about this. The main thing is that the child understands the need for this process and is not afraid of the first symptoms.

Particular attention should be paid to the story of the eggs, which, with the advent of menstruation, begin to mature and therefore, having sex, you can become pregnant. Be sure to complete the story about the methods of contraception that young people should use. Also, do not forget to talk about PMS (premenstrual syndrome), which indicates changes in the psycho-emotional state and causes a surge of hormones a few days before the onset of menstruation. PMS occurs against the background of hormonal changes in the body.

Read also 🗓 No period for a 17-year-old girl reasons

A conversation with her mother on this delicate topic will help the girl deal with her body, and feeling unwell and irritability will not take her by surprise. Knowing all the nuances of this topic, it will be easier for the child to cope with an unpleasant condition. If a girl is interested in communicating and gaining new knowledge, try discussing the topic of pregnancy at the same time. The information received from the closest person will help the child to get to know his body and body better.

Hygiene rules on the days of menstruation

The first menstruation begins with the appearance of small red or brown discharge. They are called menstrual blood. For the first 3-7 days, blood excretion is scanty, about 150 ml. The duration of the menstrual cycle is individual and can be 21-35 days.

Before sexual intercourse, it is best to use hypoallergenic pads. With them it is more convenient to monitor menstruation and change to a new one. Change the gasket to a clean one from 5 to 7 times a day. You can use tampons during menstruation only after the onset of sexual activity. The tampon is replaced every 1.5 hours. This is important, otherwise you can provoke the development of infections in the vagina.

During menstruation, you can not:

1. Do gymnastics or exercise.
2. Put ice or a heating pad on your stomach.
3. Take a hot bath (even for the feet).
4. Lift heavy things.
5. Take medications without parental permission.
6. Swim in the pool or open water.

Also, all children should be aware of the importance of washing and showering. During critical days, it is necessary to wash every 4-6 hours. You need to take a shower regularly.

What to focus on when speaking

When talking, you should pay special attention to the following important points that all teenagers should know:

• In medicine, a regular menstrual cycle is considered normal, which occurs after the same number of days every month. The first few years the cycle may be irregular. There are also a number of reasons why the cycle can go astray, for example, stress, climate change, lifting weights. Such situations should be avoided because it is dangerous to health.
• The nutrition of a teenager has a great influence on the stability of the menstrual cycle. In order to lose weight as quickly as possible, many girls at this age become interested in diets. It is important to explain to the child that an unbalanced diet, in which there are no fats and carbohydrates necessary for the body, can provoke a change in the cycle and be harmful to health. To avoid problems, parents should talk about proper nutrition and carefully monitor their daughter's diet.
• It is very important to know how to tell a girl about her period, because this is an important sign of the maturation of the reproductive system. And this means that any sexual intercourse without the use of contraceptives can lead to pregnancy.